Author Cindy Kirk & Her Mother's Secret

Today, a longtime friend Author Cindy Kirk shares a special story of a mother's love. Here's Cindy:

"From the time I was a little girl, I always wondered if I was adopted. I didn’t resemble either of my parents or any of my relatives. Whenever I asked I was told that I looked like my father’s mother who had died before I was born.

I didn’t find out until after I was an adult and my mother had died, that I was a product of donor insemination. (I was contacted by a “sibling” with whom I share the same donor father) Thankfully before I said anything to the father I’d grown up with, I discovered that my mother may not have told him about the insemination. What would make me think that?

The fact that “his” signature on the authorization form looked more like hers than his. The fact that he once told me he’d never met her doctor, which said the form wasn’t signed in front of the doctor or his staff. And the fact that my father was so opposed to raising children that weren’t his biologically that he’d refused to adopt. Would such a man have agreed to donor insemination? That my father was opposed to adoption may give you the impression he wasn’t a good or kind man.

Nothing could be further from the truth. But for some reason, he refused to look at options that would give my mother what she so desperately wanted…a child. My mother was a strong woman and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she’d done something to make her own dreams come true. Do I feel bad that she lied? I feel bad that she felt she “had” to lie. I feel bad that my father didn’t care enough about what she wanted to find some middle ground. I truly believe it would have been a shame if she’d never had a child. She was such a good parent. And so was my father.

She and my dad had been married had been married forty-eight years when she died of cancer. They had a happy marriage though I’m sure keeping this secret weighed on my mother’s heart. In “Your Ranch or Mine?” my Silhouette Special Edition, coming out in July, the heroine (Anna) has a secret that weighs heavy on her heart. Unlike in my real life story, in the book the secret is revealed and Anna discovers the truth really can set you free…"

Thanks, Cindy. That is a more than interesting story. And I'm sorry too that your mother couldn't open your father's eyes to her deepest need. I think this is one of those occasions where love can cover a sin. And I and many others are happy you were conceived!--Lyn